You Are So Right

Ach ja... estas tan correcto, sweet seniorita. I do, indeed. So why is it that I haven't the energy to put pen to paper, never mind to dance, laugh, stay out all night, make art both good and bad, drink too much and actually live the life worth writing about, the way we all did just a few years ago. We all stay in now, we feel older, tired, more...serious. Now the work we do we do alone, at home, in our pajamas with a cup of tea at our elbow. Not a decade ago we did it together, in the bars, on dirty stages and half out of our minds. What I can't figure out is this: it can't be age that wears us, because I was older in 98 then than Rev is now, and Prichard was older than I am today. Were we just drunk on.... what? The 90's? Clinton? cushy internet jobs, IPO and Launch Parties for websites that would disappear a month later, open bars every night of the week... Was it that, or is it us? Maybe it was 9/11. Maybe it's the city. In 1998, the 1-2 Giuliani-Bloomberg punch was still in mid-swing, New York wasn't yet on the ropes with blood in her mouth, both eyes swollen shut. Surf Realities still had a fighting chance, the future wasn't yet inevitible. We all smoked in bars and it wasn't against the law, or half a day's pay for a pack. We raised our flag in the dirt, the LES, the only island of old New York we could find - an island sinking like Atlantis, deeper by the hour.

Tonight I let the marijuana wash the stress of the day off my shoulders... struggle with inertia just turning off the TV and touch my face while I write. I wonder if there an alternate reality somewhere, maybe it's just another city, that still has reverend hanks flushing their own heads down toilets, red-leather clad curry spices following friends home at 5 in the morning, friends who have to work at 7. A place where the kids like to have fun and they don't notice their common alcohol bloat and face is still all alpha. A place where empty spaces still exist, and people come to fill them with play... where the only reason you need to create is space/time to do it in. Where did those things go?

I'm rambling. Just blowing off steam. My apologies.

new empty spaces replace the old ones



pic by jen-x. i stole it from her myspace profile.