Weekend #2090

So yes, I went to the big Annie Sprinkle book release party at the Museum of Sex last night. I was worried about being late to meet blowdryer, but she got the address wrong and I ended up waiting outside for her for ten minutes. There was lots of to-do at the door, getting wristbanded and name-tagged and such. Irving and Gecko from Collective were working the door, and I think Irving thought I was trying to crash as he immediately started trying to sneak me in once he saw that my name wasn't on the list. I pointed out that I was blowdryer's 'date' and I was ushered on to the stickering table. Once inside, I noticed that there were a bunch of other artstars there "working" the event, including Carmen Mofongo serving drinks and V. Sprout running around being hot in her totally sheer orange body-stocking. Sprinkle spent the entire evening at a table autographing copies of her book, copies of which were available but, disappointingly, not free. I think if you're having a book release party, the least one should do is give copies of your book to your guests. At his recent party, Jonathan Ames gave out not just copies of his new book, but copies of his older books as well. Very smart. Anyway. Rev and Nick showed up not long after, and the four of us wandered through the exhibits before it got too packed, and watched the several artists stationed throughout the museum creating erotic art. Downstairs there was a sketch artist drawing nude models, and a photographer taking poloroids of guest coming out of a giant vagina (painted on muslin, with a hole where the... hole should be). Upstairs, some girls were doing 'tit prints' and a slight, blond, sharply dressed young man was sitting in a dark corner inexplicably painting watercolors of cats. All of the art was free for the taking, and I ended up with one of the sketches which I liked because of the Hirschfeld-like detail in the hair.

Later in the night, Camen Mofongo told me that she'd been making a killing on the side by offering guests spankings with her leather crop for a mere $5. I found this to be quite enterprising of her, and wondered if any of the other "working" people had set up similar arrangements. Certainly Gecko could have made some money with her biting skills, and I bet most people there would've paid Simone a hefty sum to do.. just about anything to them. Talk to them. Look at them.

Because the door folks asked me for my "affiliation" for my name-tag, I had lots of peeps coming up to me and asking me about Toxic Pop. It was of those times when I really wished I had business or postcards for the newsletter. One of those who asked was a short, middle-aged business-suited man with an Aussie accent named Hamish. He was the agent representing Sprinkle's book in Japan, and asked me what "cool underground events" he could attend before he went back to Tokyo on Monday. I told him to check out anything at Bowery Poetry Club, and mentioned that we were all heading down there after the party to see Moonshine's HETERO-HELL show. He asked if he could tag along, and of course we were all happy to have him come with. "Before I go", he said, "I've got to get one more" and headed for the bar. I assumed it was a drink he was after, so was somewhat nonplussed when I saw him hand a $5 bill to Carmen and bend over, offering his bottom to her crop.

As Hamish was being beaten, I started to notice that there were a fair number of peeps walking around with stunning glitter designs painted on their faces and bodies. I soon found the source of this art: a quiet man named Rainbow who was wearing a silk tailcoat and a big gay hat with a big gay feather. I got in line to be his canvas and didn't have long to wait. He started by gluing a plastic ruby on my forehead, and then proceeded to give me glitter "flames" above my eyes. I looked like a hot rod. Here's a pic of the results (taken much later, when I got home):

It looked so beautiful (and perfectly matched my shirt) that Rev Jen had him do a design between her tits, beautifully framed by the low-cut neck of her dress. As we all waited for Rev to get painted, I watched another man get spanked. A middle aged woman with short spikey gray hair whispered something to him as he was bent over, and then she came over and said to me "I asked him if he wanted me to hold his dick while he got spanked". She had her back to me, and was leaning into my body in a slightly inappropriate way.

"And he said NO?" I marvelled.

"Yeah, can you believe it? Do you want me to hold your dick while he gets spanked?" Apparently this woman was really hot to get someone's - anyone's - dick in her hand, stat.

She turned to face me and I read her name-tag: Betty Dodson

"Oh my. You're Betty Dodson"

"I know"

By this time, Rev's chest-painting was done, and she saw me standing there chatting with one of her literary heroes, so quickly came over and allowed me to introduce them. As Rev was telling Ms. Dodson how she was one of her fave writers of all time, I slipped away and chatted with Nick for a bit, while Blowdryer continued to try to hunt down a particular publishing exec she wanted to meet. Finally, the five of us (Rev, Nick, Blowdryer, Hamish and I) got it together enough to walk to Nick's car and head down to Bowery. Nick was sober enough to drive, I guess - but Rev, Hamish and I were already pretty done in. I remember that when we got there, Soce the Elemental Wizard was onstage rapping about blowjobs while his parents - his whole family, I think - were sitting in the audience. Rev and I are usually on the perennial guest list at BPC, but this time George-at-the-door was being super strict, for some reason. He whispered to me that if I said I was gay, I'd get in for half price. "Are you kidding?" I asked, "look at my face!" So I forked over a fin and we allowed Hamish to pay for the rest of the krew. The remainder of the night is a blur of O'Debra Twins and Moonshine and talking to a girl named Jane from Maine and more beer and drunken phone calls with Alannah whom I miss and want to see again as soon as humanly possible.

I woke up with a hangover for the books, and spent the day trying not to puke, getting cable installed, and buying my beloved pink loveseat. I was going to make a film of me getting my ass waxed for tomorrow's O'Debbie Awards, but Bruce never called me back. :( :( :(