Happy June

I've gotten out of the habit of journaling lately, mainly due to the fact that my time has been monopolized by other things. I just had to do a quick and dirty website for Jennifer Blowdryer... it looks like poo, but she needed something up by this thursday so I whipped up something fast. I'll spend some time over the coming weeks making it look better. Yesterday, my Memorial Day to-do list took me well into the AM hours to complete, and I still didn't finish it all. Things are changing, and I just need to settle into the new groove. I started "officially" at O2 today - I'm so happy to be back. Every morning I get to take an elevator with a picture of Fabio and Jennifer Love Hewitt on the door. A company that makes you chuckle on the way in the office is a good place to work. When I last worked for them back at the turn of the millenium, the idea of the company was not just TV, but a 'converged network' in which the online component was just as important to the "whole" as on-air. It was also about 3 times as large, staff-wise, and everyone was frantic and running around being all "converged" and "new paradigm" and making a lot of money and not really doing much at all. It took a few years and many layoffs (mine included) for them to chill out and figure out: it's TV, and TV should be so simple. Now it seems like it's going to be a reallly great place to work, and small enough that I can actually get to know some peeps this time. Oh, and I have the same boss as before, Betsy, who's just an amazing, smart, funny person. These days she has a beautiful little 4-year-old daughter who she brings in from time-to-time and sets loose on the office.

I'm trying not to carry any resentment towards SuperNova for the debacle back in February... that's a hard one to let go of, though. But maybe Roy, the guy who fired me, was actually right when he said "this is your chance to go out and get something better". I'm sure he didn't intend to be my savior, and I certainly don't think he's a "nice person"... maybe he was my Darth Vader. An inner obstacle manifesting as super-villian, one I had to/have to defeat in order to move forward. Rilke said (something like) "maybe all our dragons are princesses waiting to see us act with beauty and courage".

This has been one of the most beautful New York springs ever.

I've been thinking a lot about "truth" and "lies" lately. I'm doing the "Talking Stick" show this month, and their directive to performers is only: "tell the truth". A month or so ago, a friend of mine declared definitively: "lying is the only thing I don't tolerate in my friends". So I've been thinking about truth and lies and what constitues each. There are such degrees of both. Is a lie that doesn't obscure a great truth, in fact makes things turn out better for everybody - is that still a lie? Is the decision to tell a small lie in order to spare another person unnecessary hurt a bad decision? Doesn't the greater truth of compassion and/or peace trump the smaller truth of 'fact'? And what about art? If I embellish a story in order to more tightly draw the lines around a greater truth - the truth of the story - is that "not telling the truth"? What if, by reporting events factually, I didn't manage to tell the greater truth? Would that be lying?

i have more to say about this, but it's bedtime. finish later.